Love's what makes us the same
by Sofrockandshowtunesgirlscout22
Summary: After Ryan goes to identify Greenlee's body he finds out she had one last request to ask from him. Ryan struggles with single parenting and grief. story is better than summary
1. Chapter 1

Love is what makes us the same

After Ryan goes to identify Greenlee's body he finds out she had one last request to ask from him. Ryan struggles with single parenting and grief.

**Another of my LD du Pres stories. LD is Leo David he was born on June 29****th****, 2003. When shortly after Leo's death Greenlee finds out she is pregnant **

"Here" Jack said giving him the tape. Ryan was full of grief but he still wanted to know what was so special about the tape. He listens to her. Telling him that she wants him to be happy, even if it is with her or not and then something happens that he didn't expect. Greenlee asks Ryan to take care of her son. He wants LD to have a family, seeing that he has lost so many people already. This surprises Ryan. He is too immersed in his own grief to even focus on the boy. Who has been staying with his uncle David since Greenlee was reported dead

"I can't" he muttered as the tape ended "I can't even take care of myself"

"Is this what she really wants?" Kendall asked giving him a cup of coffee "what about David?"

"I don't know" Ryan said sadly "I don't think I can do it, it's too much, I also have Emma to think about"

"and why do you think she asked you to take care of LD if she didn't think you could do it, I mean I am a mom and she didn't ask me, you are a father to that boy, you always have been, I don't think David is the right person to raise him, or any child for that matter" Kendall said gravely "do you have papers, Greenlee's will?"

"I do, but I think he'd be better off with someone else" Ryan smiled weakly "I love him so much, but I don't want to ruin his life"

"What makes you think you will do that Ryan, you are his father, even if he doesn't have your blood, you were the person he first called dad, and he needs you, he's already lost so much"

"Ryan?" David opened the door. He seemed tired but most of all he seemed worried about seeing Ryan

"Is LD here?" he said dryly "I need to see him"

"No, he is at the park with the nanny" David said hastily "what do you want with him?"

"I'm here to take him home Hayward" Ryan said gravely when David almost closed the door on his face "I'm here to take my boy home"

"He's not yours, not in any way, he has my brother's DNA" David said. Ryan could hear noises coming from inside the house

"He's here isn't he?" Ryan said pushing David away from the door and entering the house "LD!"

"SHUT UP!" David bellowed "you have no right to be here, go before I call the cops"

"Daddy!" LD came running towards Ryan who quickly picked him up "hi daddy"

"Hey buddy, guess what? We are going home now…" Ryan walked towards the guest room where the boy slept "let's get your thinks together okay?" LD nodded as Ryan put him down and grabbed his bag, he just stuffed the things inside, while David watched from the doorway. His face full of rage

"All set daddy" LD said happily. Ryan picked him up again. He walked out of the room pushing David out of the way

"Do you want to say goodbye to David?" go on say bye" Ryan said. David reached for the boy but Ryan stepped back

"Come on, just let me say goodbye" Ryan handed the boy to David who hugged him and kissed his forehead, but Ryan quickly took the boy back afraid that Hayward might be up to something. He walked to the car and placed the LD on the back seat. Tossing his bag to the side and closing the door. In that moment David pushed Ryan against the door

"Don't think this is over" the doctor said warningly "consider yourself lucky just because he was here today, because tomorrow you might be not as lucky"

"Are you threatening me?" Lavery asked pushing David away "are you going to take away from him somebody else he loves?"

"He is not yours, he's mine and I are not going to rest until he's back with his real family" David said, but Ryan just turned away. He got into the car and drove away.

That night as Ryan put the boy back on his own bed and tucked him in he was trying to hold back the tears but LD knew something wasn't right

"Daddy?" the boy asked. His eyes sparkled "are you sad?"

"Yeah, but I'm also very happy that you are home, Emma and I missed you" Ryan said kissing his forehead

"Where is mommy?" Ryan figured David hadn't told him about his mother's death "when is she coming home?"

Ryan sat on the bed facing the boy, running his fingers through his hair "here is the thing LD, your mommy is not coming home, not anymore"

"Doesn't she love me anymore?" the boy squealed softly "was I bad?"

"No, of course not, your mom loves you more than anything in this world, don't ever think that she doesn't" Ryan smiled softly "is just that she not coming back"

"Is she in heaven?" LD asked. His heart ached with pain "like daddy Leo?"

Ryan took a deep breath "yes, she's in heaven, but she asked me if I could take care of you, for you to come and live with me and Emma"

"Okay" LD said, clearly he seemed very calm, but maybe it was because he was tired "I love you daddy"

"I love you too" Ryan said hugging him close. Ryan tucked him in and went to check on Emma again and then he collapsed on his own bed. Tears came running down his face and he didn't have the strength to hold them back. He suddenly heard a soft voice. Emma and LD stood there watching him. The kids walked to the bed slowly. Emma touched his cheek tenderly and cuddled next to him. LD wrapped him into a hug. The tree of them fell into a deep sleep and Ryan then dreamed of Greenlee and how thanks to his beautiful kids he might as well be able to overcome this

**Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

Love is what makes us the same

After Ryan goes to identify Greenlee's body he finds out she had one last request to ask from him. Ryan struggles with single parenting and grief.

**Another of my LD du Pres stories. LD is Leo David he was born on June 29****th****, 2003. When shortly after Leo's death Greenlee finds out she is pregnant **

It was almost LD's 6th birthday now. Summer was getting closer to Pine Valley and for some strange reason also trouble

"Good morning daddy" Emma said as she entered his room "are you sleeping?" she jumped on the bed and touched his head gently. Ryan turned around and caught her onward and began to tickle her "stop it daddy!" both father and daughter cracked into laughter

"Hey where is your brother?" Ryan sat up straight on the bed "is he still sleeping?" Emma nodded. Ryan thought that was a bit odd as LD wasn't really a sleeper he was usually up before he and Emma were. He left Emma watching cartoons in his room and headed to the room that was now Spike's he found him there cuddled in the bed but not really sleeping "hey sleepy head"

"Hi daddy, I wasn't sleeping you know?" he said sweetly "I was thinking"

Ryan smiled to himself "thinking? Aren't you a little young for those deep thoughts bud?"

LD rolled his eyes "dad, even Spike is a big thinker and he's only three and even Ian" Ryan had to give it to him. Too logical to even argue

"So what were you thinking about?" LD evaded his gaze. Ryan knew he was thinking about what had happened a few weeks before when he had gone to take him away from David's or maybe he was thinking of Greenlee

"Mommy" LD said quietly "is she with daddy Leo now?" Ryan smiled at the boy and then sat next to him on the bed

"Yeah she is" Ryan was heartbroken about Greenlee and how she had suddenly left them and how her son would never really get to know her completely "does that make you happy?"

"Are they going to get married in heaven?" the innocent question made Ryan chuckle quietly "and be happy forever after?"

"well I guess they could" Ryan said placing him on his lap "I think the most important thing is that now they are watching over you all the time and they are so happy that you are okay"

"Okay because I want mommy to be happy even if she's an angel" LD said "can we go have breakfast now?" Ryan smiled again "of course we can come here" He picked him up and the two of them went to get Emma

"So do you have plans for LD's birthday?" Bianca asked Ryan during a play date "I mean I know he's sad, I mean we all are I can't imagine what he's feeling but he has to celebrate it"

"I was actually going to ask you to help me, after all you are his godmother" Ryan said smiling "it would be good to have a woman's prospective in all this"

"Sure, it's going to be great" Bianca said excitedly "we could have a pool and everything"

"A pool?" Ryan asked suspiciously "I don't think we can have a pool at the Penthouse unless we get prepared for a flood

"We could rent a small place at the Pine Cone Hotel where they do little kid's parties" Bianca suggested "I know he's gonna love it"

"You know what?" Ryan said placing a hand on his chin "that's a great idea god knows we all could use a break "

"But we are going to need a lot of chaperones" Bianca pointed out. Ryan smiled. Always safety first "I mean there are going to be a lot of little kids running around"

"Tell you what" he said "I'll leave that to you"

The day finally arrived. Everyone was going to be there. Amanda and Jake and Tad with Kathy and Jenny and Marissa and JR with little Adam; Zach and Kendall with the boys

"Happy birthday sweetie" Bianca said giving her godson a big hug "where is the gift table?"

LD's eyes lighted up "Happy Birthday!" Miranda said excitedly "we brought you two presents!"

"Cool!" he took Miranda's hand and disappeared "thanks Auntie Bianca!"

Bianca smiled and with Gaby in her arms went to look for Ryan "so where do I put this?"

"Hey! The party is going great and it's all because of you" he said taking the gifts from her "thank you so much I couldn't have done it without you"

"Well you know you can never have too much girl power around can you?" Ryan smiled at her "so how is he doing?"

"He's happy and I guess that's all that matters right now" Ryan said nostalgically "the pool was amazing by the way, although having your mom and Opal playing lifeguards might be a bit risky"

"Daddy!" LD appeared from behind them "Spike is here!"

"Happy birthday big guy" Zach said picking him up and holding Ian at the other side "don't worry we didn't forget your gift Spike wanted to give it to you"

"I bet this is what you are looking for" Kendall said waving a big box in the air "Happy birthday"

"Thanks!" and then when Ryan stopped to hand Spike back to Kendall. LD gave him a big wet kiss

"I think you should be playing with your guests" Zach said putting him down. LD smiled and ran after AJ. The rest of the party went smoothly until almost all grownups were forced inside by the children. Ryan was being pulled down the water by Emma and LD while Zach and Jake struggled with Kathy, AJ and Miranda

"Should we feel bad that the guys are doing all the hard work?" Kendall asked her sister coolly

"No, I think they can handle it, we after all gave birth to them"

**So just a happy bit of a chapter in the mist of losing Greenlee. Hope you like it!**


	3. Chapter 3

Love is what makes us the same

After Ryan goes to identify Greenlee's body he finds out she had one last request to ask from him. Ryan struggles with single parenting and grief.

**Another of my LD du Pres stories. LD is Leo David he was born on June 29th, 2003. When shortly after Leo's death Greenlee finds out she is pregnant **

**Chapter**** 3**

Ryan got home from work earlier than expected, he just wanted to lay down and forget about the world, forget how much he missed her, every time he looked at him it was like watching her smile, but god he loved that boy so much and it had brought him so much joy to have him to get a chance to raise him

"Oh, hi Mr. Lavery" the nanny said almost stumbling down by the scare "I didn't know you were coming home at this hour"

"It wasn't planned, I just wanted to take a break" Ryan said taking off his jacket and putting it on the couch "are the kids sleep?"

"No, they are watching TV in your room, I hope you don't mind and Mrs. Hart brought Spike over to spend the night"

"Great" Ryan sighed "well, I think you should go home, I'll see you on Monday, thank you"

"Yes sir" the young girl said quietly as Ryan paid her "have a good weekend"

Ryan found the kids cuddled on his bed. His beautiful kids who made all better in his life. Who made him a better person every single day… At 7, so innocent and so cute. Emma who had been an unexpected surprise in his life, now he couldn't picture his life without her, Spike, his beautiful and strong 3 year old who always had a smile on his face and who had showed him what strength was and LD, a little old soul, at 6 he had been to the worst and yet had come with a smile and love for all. Not him by blood but by fate. He carried them to their rooms. He first picked Emma up and tucked her in, next he went for the boys, he placed Spike on the lower bed and then LD. His eyes met his for a minute

"Daddy?" he said drowsily "what's wrong?"

"Nothing buddy, I'm sorry I woke you up" Ryan said holding his hand "go back to sleep okay?"

"Okay" he said. Ryan placed a kiss on his forehead and closed the door behind him

He had just closed his eyes when he felt something on the bed; the kids had crawled back into bed with him

"I had a bad dream" Emma said. Ryan smiled softly at his daughter "can I stay here tonight daddy?"

"Us too?" LD asked hopefully "we had bad dreams too"

"All three of you huh?" Spike shared a look with LD and nodded "come here" The kids got into bed on the other side, spike rested his head on Ryan's belly "you know what the best part of my day is? The moment I come home and find you guys here, I love being a dad, that's the best part of my day"

"Daddy?" LD whispered to him a while later "do you want to know about my dream?"

"Sure" he said playing with Spike's hair

"I dreamt about mommy" Ryan's heart sank "I dreamed about her going to heaven and being really sad"

"Are you sad now?" Ryan hated to watch him think of Greenlee and Leo and all he had lost "about mommy?" his voice was starting to break

"I guess, but I talk to her sometimes" Ryan could see him smile even though it was dark "I tell her that we love her and we miss her"

"I do that too" Ryan admitted more to himself than his son

"Does she answer back?" the question seemed childish and silly but Ryan wished it was true, even if it was just for a little

"Not really, but I know she can hear me, and when I talk to her I feel happy" tears were starting to roll down his face

"I wish she was here" LD said sadly "so you wouldn't cry daddy"

**I just love these little moments of Ryan and the kids… any suggestions for future chapters? Maybe a LD and Zach talk? Please review!**


End file.
